DALEY NEWS
Mayor Daley is back from his Jordanian vacation today and he wasted no time battling back criticism over his plan to stick taxpayers with the bill if the city bungles the budget for the Olympics.
At the opening of the new MillerCoors headquarters (a company that received millions of dollars in TIF money to set up shop in the Loop) the mayor said not to worry. Before taxpayers could be put on the hook for the games, we’d first have to burn through the $2.5 billion buffer he’s put in place.
But wait, let’s do the math on this. Of the $2.5 billion, $500 million is already coming from Chicago taxpayers. Another $250 million would be paid out by Illinois citizens. And $400 million will come from “rainy-day funds,” a mythical mound of money that is supposed to come from the games itself. Finally, another $1.3 billion would come from insurance that taxpayers would pay for. And if we’ve learned anything over the last year, it’s that you can always trust an insurance company to make good when you come to claim.
“That is our protection of the city of Chicago,” the mayor said of the $2.5 billion.
So wait, we’re protected from having to pay for Olympic overruns by… our own money?
DALEY CHATTER
The mayor’s press office continues to refuse to talk to us. I’ve left half a dozen messages during the last two weeks, but have yet to hear back from them. I’m really starting to worry. Should we round up some bloodhounds and send out a search team?
Here are some possible explanations for the continued silence from the press office:
- Daley took the team to Switzerland, but forgot them there. They are now wandering the Alps like the Von Trapp family.
- City Hall has yet to figure out this whole “internet” thing. One tech-savvy staffer at the press office was going to check the America Onlines for the Windy Citizen when he got home, but decided he couldn’t afford to waste any of his 2000 free minutes. However, that presumes that the same staff who put up this abominable webpage are even capable of logging on to AOL.
- The entire staff of the press office were among the 1500 city employees Daley axed two weeks ago. But wait, that’s silly. The mayor’s propaganda machine is an indispensable part of the city bureaucracy. Trashmen and police officers, on the other hand, we can do without.
And finally...
- The staff of Daley’s press office are incredibly fucking terrible at their jobs. Hmmm, that one actually seems to fit.
If you have any ideas where the missing press office is, be sure to leave ‘em in the comments section.
That’s all, folks. Have a great weekend!
Image via the Tribune
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