Please, don't turn your kid into a car bumper

Earlier today I saw a toddler -- 2 or 3 years old -- with a T-shirt on that said "Obama Rocks!" Odd, I thought. I wonder what that little kid thinks of universal health care. Or the war in the Middle East. Or the federal government's financial bailout.

The answer, of course, is that he has no idea about any of those issues. He might have some semi-coherent response regarding the issue of the right to drool. "Yeah!" he'd yell. He's probably in favor of high-fives (an issue where we all can find common ground). On the environmental front, he's likely indifferent. Disposable or washable diapers, it doesn't matter to him.

Why do people do this? Why do they use their children as fashion statements? You realize that you've just turned your kid into a car bumper, right? His body shouldn't be a whiteboard on which you espouse your political views. Wear your own Obama T-shirt if you want. You wouldn't put a "Vote McCain" T-shirt on your elderly parent with Alzheimer's, would you? I hope not.

Which brings me to the other class of kids' clothing. Also today I saw a two-year-old girl with a Johnny Cash T-shirt on. When I saw it, I immediately thought, "Wow, that girl's parents must be the coolest!" Listen, if you want to talk about Fugazi's place in the post-punk rock music scene, I'm up for it. You don't have to dress your kid in a "This is not a Fugazi onesie" onesie to show us how hip you are. The horn-rimmed glasses and Doc Maartens already told me everything I need to know.

And finally, the issue of kids' clothing with provocative sayings on them -- written across the backsides. I would be a happy person if I never again saw another 6-year-old wearing sweatpants that say "Juicy" across the butt. And people wonder why Chris Hansen has done so many installments of "To Catch a Predator."

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Mark Fontecchio

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