Chicago Kwik-E-Mart: Five reasons to visit the Midwest’s only Simpsons-themed 7-Eleven

Ever watched The Simpsons and wondered what "KrustyO's" tasted like?

Now there's a way to find out.

Last weekend 7-Eleven Inc. transformed one of its stores on Chicago's southwest side into an honest-to-goodness, Simpsons'-style Kwik-E-Mart to promote the long-awaited Simpsons movie. The store is one of 12 in the country that received a cartoon makeover and one of 6,000 to be offering fictional treats featured on the show like Frosted KrustyO's and Buzz Cola.

As the only Kwik-E-Mart location in the Midwest, the 63rd Street 7-Eleven, owned by "huge Simpsons fan" Frenko Rahana, has, overnight, become a tourist attraction.

"It's been unbelievable," he says. "People are just so shocked that they actually get to shop where Homer shops." Hear it!

While there was much coolness "going down" at the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart, there are five reasons to visit the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart:

Reason #5 - Meet Simpsons-crazies:

Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

A trip to the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart will likely be your weirdest convenience store experience ever.

For starters, there's a line to get in. Tuesday night, hundreds of Simpsons fans and curious locals were waiting 50-deep for a dour-looking private security guard (sporting a Superman pager) to let them enter.

And they were a motley crew indeed. A quick scan of the crowd turned up a 50-year-old man in a Duff Beer hat standing near a high schooler showing off his Simpsons boxer shorts. Both groaned when the guard announced that the Squishee machine was out of commission around 10 P.M.

There's serious was money rolling around the Kwik-E-Mart, too. In the parking lot, a rusted Chevy Maxima was sandwiched between a BMW Z3 with New Mexico plates and a Volvo S60. Land Rovers and Lexus SUV's were common sights, too, dropping people off to wait in line before disappearing to find parking.

Rahana says he's thrilled by the response to his store's makeover.

"This has never been done before," he says. "You have Coke and Pepsi putting their products in movies. We're actually taking a product out of a movie and putting it into real life." Hear it!

Reason #4: Spot Sweet Simpsons Signage

The walls, windows and appliances in the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart are chock-full of hilarious nods to The Simpsons. Rahana admitted he wishes 7-Eleven had done a little more to the front of his store, but said he was extremely happy with how it looked in general.

If you spot a reference I miss, fill us in with a comment below. Here are some of my favorites. Also, there are dozens more pictueres in the Kwik-E-Mart Photo Gallery.

Bart Simpson and Milhouse are hitting a pair of Squishees pretty hard out front.

According to owner Rahana, 7-Eleven Inc. sent over a construction crew just before midnight Saturday June 30 to make over his store.

The Kwik-E-Mart marquee appears to be a simple wrapper laid over the 7-Eleven sign. It looks great during the day and really interesting when its lit up at night.

The banner over the freezer is one of the few direct, in-store plugs for the Simpsons movie.

In the foreground you can see just some of the Simpsons collectibles on sale in the store. Rahana had an entire aisle decked out with toys like the "Moe's Tavern with Duff Man Toy Set " priced at $49.99.

This coffee sign calls it like it is. And the other is a reference to the sea captain who owns the all-you-can-eat restaurant that sued Homer in one episode, right? Simpsons fans, set me straight.

Lesson: Don't keep your money in Springfield. And is the blurb in the lower right a jab at ATM's? What's the backstory here? This sign is plastered to the Kwik-E-Mart facade out front.

'Nuf said. I never noticed the thing with Chief Wiggum's nose until a friend pointed it out to me years ago...

Reason #3: Consume KrustyO's, Squishees and Buzz Cola

Of course a huge draw for these Kwik-E-Marts is the fictional Simpsons food items on sale inside. 7-Eleven Inc. did a smash-up job producing these.

Buzz Cola! 79¢

I asked a 12-year-old what this stuff tasted like (as he was sucking one down): "It's just like Pepsi, but with more zap!"

Alas, Duff Beer, Home Simpson's favorite beer won't be found at any participating 7-Elevens. The company did not wish to involve beer in the marketing of a PG-13 film, according to 7-Eleven Inc.

Squishees - .99¢-$1.69

The store's Slurpee machine has been decked out with new signage and new "Squishee" cups. There was a 5-minute wait to get one for much of the night while I was there. The picture to the right is of a squishee that someone apparently forgot about. It sat melting by the coffee dispenser all evening...

Frosted KrustyO's - $5.99: The clown says they're good for you

These are clearly the hot item. All night long the same pattern played out. The security guard would let a handful of people in...and they'd make a beeline right for the Frosted KrustyO's, childlike glee affixed on their faces.

The side of the box features a "Nutrition Guarantee" from good 'ole Krusty the Clown himself, who declares "I guarantee I was paid to say this stuf is nutritious!"

The front-of-box blub calls the cereal "The Best You Can Expect From a TV Clown!" Krusty's shown holding a bowl that includes a worm, a nail, a gear, a screw, some weeds and a brown gelatinous substance that looks fairly horrid. The fine print below it helpfully says "Product shown is not representative of the actual product inside."

Hotter than hotcakes

Rahana's "Kwik-E-mart" is doing alright selling this stuff (remember it's the only themed 7-Eleven store in the entire Midwest). Kwik-E-Mart customers like their Simpsons goodies. I kept track of everything purchased Tuesday night between 8:40 and 9:00 P.M to get an idea. Rahana sold:

• 33 boxes of "KrustyO's" ($5.99)
• 59 cans of "Buzz Cola" (79¢)
• 40 "Squishees" (approximately $1.50)

...totalling $304.28 in "fictional" food receipts in 20 minutes. This wasn't even a particularly busy period during the night. If you do that math, that's more than $21,000 per day just from these three items, not even counting money made from Simpsons cookies, bobbleheads and collectibles as well as regular, non-Simpsons-related merchandise.

Rahana says he sold 200 boxes of Frosted KrustyO's in the first 90 minutes they were on sale Sunday morning. He placed an emergency call to, McClane Distribution, his distributor and 700 more arrived the next day. He says he's not at all surprised by the demand.

"The Simpsons has a cult following. It's like Star Wars but even bigger," he says. "You've got people from everywhere dying to get their hands on Simpsons merchandise and what better place to get it than the Kwik-E-Mart!" Hear it!

(Hey comics fans: "Radioactive Man" comics had sold out early that afternoon, much to the disappointment of more than one customer. Rahana was quick to offer issues of a Bart Simpson comic instead but found few takers.)

Reason #2: See Jasper Beardley in the freezer again

The picture below was far and away the most imaginitive touch in the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart. Hats off to whoever pushed this one through.

Tremendous explanation via Wikipedia:

When retiree Jasper Beardley decided to freeze himself in the store's freezers as a low budget form of cryopreservation for an indefinite future, Apu transformed the store into the "Freak-E-Mart", of which Jasper, marketed as "Frostillicus", was the main attraction. When Jasper thawed, thus ending the viability of the project, Apu decided to institute a clothing optional policy, thusly briefly rechristening the store as the "Nude-E-Mart".

Rahana said he had yet to meet a customer who could correctly identify "the guy in the freezer." So if you drop by, let him know who it is. He might give you a free Squishee.

Reason #1: Meet the Real Apu

Finally, the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart boasts its own real-life "Apu" in Frenko Rahana, who says his store was chosen as the Chicago Kwik-E-Mart site only after "constant begging."

Clad in a green Kwik-E-Mart button-up, wearing an "Apu" nametag, he hustles around the store restocking shelves, trying to upsell customers into adding just one more thing to their baskets, ringing up customers and sending them on their way with an honest-to-goodness Apu-style "Thank you, come again."

Rahana, who says he's been with 7-Eleven for nine years, says he draws inspiration from the Apu character, with whom he feels a connection as a fellow immigrant with big ambitions.

"I totally respect what he's able to do in the show," he says. "When I bought my franchise I thought of myself as Apu. I'm doing the same thing. I'm from overseas. I'm doing exactly what he's doing, trying to make a life for myself in America." Hear it!

Rahana (ringing up a customer above with Michelle Smith, notice the Apu sign behind him) says his goal is to make every other Simpsons fan feel like he did when he first heard about the promotion from a 7-Eleven partner:

"I'm a true diehard Simpsons fan, and when I heard they were going to do this, I was so geeked up," he says.

"It's a once in a lifetime experience. I don't know if 7-Eleven will ever do this again and if they do, great. And if they don't, well at least you can say you shopped at a Kwik-E-Mart."

The Chicago Kwik-E-Mart is located at 6754 W. 63rd Street, Chicago, IL 60638. They are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The Kwik-E-Mart promotion will run through the end of July. Google Maps Link.

Listen to Frenko Rahana, Chicago's real-life "Apu":

• "Thank you, Come again"
• Frenko Rahana lists his favorite Simpsons episodes
• "The Simpsons are bigger than Star Wars"
• Rahana gives respect to Apu
• "This has never been done before."

Check the right sidebar for more Chicago Kwik-E-Mart pictures