I was halfway through my own interpretation of the Swan Lake ballet (with ski-boot instead of pointe) in my living room when it hit me. One foot locked into my ski boot and the other splayed outward to demonstrate the Balanchine method, it dawned on me that perhaps I was moving too fast. Boy of Two Dates was sitting on the couch, looking quizzically at my teetering form. It’s girls like you that never get asked out again! my inner monologue hissed. You’re showing too much “leg”! What kind of girl will he take you for?! But it was too late. I had already given It away. Over the many dates I’ve accumulated in my long life, I tend to show my cards too early on. And no, not those cards. I’m talking about the brow-raising, tolerance-testing, hit-or-miss QUIRKS that make me Christine Marie Stulik, actress/waitress/blogger with a penchant for Cheetos. And celtic music. And light violence when I drink more than 2 Makers. These and many others are the things most polite, well-bred ladies and gents would save for a few months in, right around the time they say “I love you” and pee with the bathroom door open. But what about those of us who just can’t manage to save ourselves. We barrel right past the censors into the land of offensive humor and “this one time at band camp” stories.

Being a naive idealist, I’d love to think that a guy sees my flaws and takes them in stride, appreciating my candor and maybe even charmed by a quirk or two. And some guys have been. And I’d like to champion the open honesty and take- me- or- leave- me mentality. But I’ve also witnessed the nervous laugh, the blank stare, and even the turned back and pumping legs. Whoops.

So when should one give It all away? There is no 3-date rule on this one, folks. I’ll have to chalk this one up to trial and error. One guy friend got a date cut short after too many Heath Ledger jokes. Another girlfriend is convinced he didn’t come in after getting a peek at her messy apartment. But maybe those potential lovers weren’t right for my friends anyway, and it’s a good thing it’s been stamped with a fini before anyone got in too deep. But there might be something to be said for keeping a little bit of ourselves at bay, and that’s something I’m working on. Guys are easily spooked, ladies.

And ladies can be terribly judgmental, dudes. So maybe save showing off your Britney shrine for when he’s too in love with your lilting laugh to really notice. And guys, save the dead baby jokes for when she’s too distracted by your deep blue eyes to hear the one about the phone booth. Because let’s face it, we’re not perfect, not even a little bit. And no one expects that. But we’d all like to pretend for just a little while.

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