As the air chills and leaves tremble down to reveal fingery branches scraping across slate-colored skies, a simple question for you, dear readers.
You're in Chicago. Zombie apocalypse breaks out. What do you do?
Fill out the comment section with your answers, critiques of others' answers and basic discussion about this pressing topic. I want to know your zombie attack plan.
A couple ground rules:
- We're going Romero zombie on this. They're slow and you only get infected if you get bitten. If you get bitten, turning into a zombie is inevitable, but not immediate. You have enough time for a tearful, dramatic and character-revealing good-bye.
- There's also a chance the zombies will just tear you to shreads and eat you. You don't know which one will happen.
- You're starting from your real life. Don't say "Shoot them with an uzi" unless you have an uzi or explain your plan of how you would get one.
- You're you. You're alone. And you may only start from either your apartment (say what neighborhood) or, for the out-of-towners, by the Bean in Millenium Park.
Hurry, I can hear them wailing outside. What's your plan?
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Paul Dailing
Paul Dailing (pictured standing in front of the World's Largest Boot), now has a different haircut. He's also lost a bit of weight since that picture was taken, but not as much as he likes to think. More
Comments
Head to the burbs. I've seen the beginning of Dawn of the Dead (not the shitty remake). Head to the burbs where people aren't stacked 10 deep. You'll have some options out there.
I completely agree with this. My first trip would be to go to a Walmart and hit up their hunting and sporting goods section. If you could seal off the entrances, then Walmart would be a great place to be. You'd have plenty of food and water to last you and lots of things to create barricades from. You also have access to cellphones and emergency supplies. Some even have gas stations! Also, you have a roof on which a helicopter could land for rescue.
If you're stuck downtown, then I'd say your best bet would be to get to a hospital -- provided that's where the outbreak didn't start. The height of the building would be good and there could be a helipad.
If you can get on the Orange of Blue Line, then maybe making your way to O'Hare or Midway wouldn't be a bad idea if you can convince your CTA operator to not stop for anything. Getting on a plane and flying the heck outta dodge seems like a good idea. Also, TSA security agents are probably pretty prepared for emergency situations.
I went the other way. I'm thinking take to the lake and make your way somewhere by boat. Not to knock the 'burbs, but with rush hour traffic as bad as it is every morning, the gridlock would be 1,000 times worse with zombies nipping at your heels. I don't like getting stuck on the Ike now, much less with zombies knocking at my windows.
Great point! I don't know how to drive a boat though, and I'm not sure that you'd be able to just "steal" one right away.
One place that I thought about going was a police station. They have weapons and probably some sort of emergency access to someone higher up in the chain of command.
If you live in the city and need to get to a Wal-Mart in the middle of the night because of the Zombie outbreak, you've got to travel 30 miles south all the way to Markham to find a super center. I know this because I made the trek last night to buy an ethernet cable. Got lost...about 3 times. Most expensive cable either.
Once you're there though, you're set.
Another casualty of the South Side "food desert." Nowhere to hole up in during zombie attack.
Funny you should post this now.
Just last night I went back to an online game I used to kill time with long ago: http://urbandead.com
As I was goofing around on it for a bit last night, I wondered what a Chicago version would look like...
Another point we haven't touched on would be avoiding the city's graveyards and senior citizen homes. Basically, the undead in masses from graveyards would be highly dangerous and would cause the rate of infection to spike locally. And senior citizen centers offer lots of easy targets for zombies with minimal resistance.
Someone should really make a zombie-readiness iPhone app that tells you want areas to avoid, possible escape routes and safe areas. It'd be the best 99 cents you ever spent.
And schools. You know how quick colds spread through schools, much less zombism.
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