Actually, we knew you all too well. Before you even got here.

Fortunately, Jim Hendry finally made a roster move that I approve of, deciding to suspend Milton Bradley for the remainder of the dismal Cubs season after he once again ripped Cubs fans and the entire Cubs organization in a recent interview with the Daily Herald. Hendry has said he is unsure if the relationship is "fixable," which could mean that the Cubbies are done playing around with Milton and ready to eat the remainder of his colossal $30 million salary. Fingers crossed.

At the risk of crowning myself a prophet, allow me to offer a quote from my post on February 5, 2009:

I will join the chorus on this one and say that it makes little sense to relieve ourselves of clubhouse leaders and classy, old-school gentlemen of baseball like Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa only to replace them with Milton Bradley. The man has the self-image of Sammy Sosa with a fraction of the home runs.

I sleep at night by convincing myself that, although the Cubs are hundred-year losers, they are lovable because they try hard and respect the game. It's hard to convince myself that Bradley fits that criteria and I can't help but think he will drastically throw off the chemistry of a team that just traded away its outspoken leaders [Mark DeRosa and Kerry Wood]. I hope I'm wrong.

Sometimes I hate it when I'm right, but there was really no other way for this to end. Bradley claims that playing for the Cubs is a negative experience and "negativity" pervades the clubhouse, the media, the fans and anything else sporting Cubs colors in Chicago. I think there are hundreds of thousands of Cubs fans who would beg to differ.

Regardless of the fact that we were immediately swept out, the Cubs made the playoffs two years in a row. We didn't get there on negativity. We got there on positive team chemistry and offensive production. Both of those crucial elements were suddenly in short supply when Bradley put on the pinstripes.

From the beginning, the Bradley deal was a match made in Hell that simmered all summer and festered in the hot August sun. Bradley blamed his microscopic batting average and defensive miscues on the fans, the media, his teammates, the recession, Michael Jackson's death and anything else he could think of. Most players would give their left leg to play at Wrigley every day. Bradley treated it like a prison sentence.

Well, hopefully we will both be free of each other soon. Bradley can sulk off into the sunset and the Cubs can find a cheap, young player with class and heart to play right field.

The Cubs palette will need some major cleansing in the off season, and this is the perfect way to start.

Two weeks ago, I went to a game at Wrigley Field and watched the Cubs lose 15-6 to the worst team in Major League Baseball. This week, I returned to Wrigley for the Crosstown Classic makeup game and witnessed what was arguably the worst loss of the season. Given these two horrifying experiences and the context of the 2009 season, I think I'm entitled to blow off a little bitter steam. I have always been and will always remain a die-hard Cubs fan. But we're dying right now. And it's hard.

Below are a few thoughts for key members of the Chicago Cubs organization. Names have been altered to protect the guilty.

Alfon-So Sore-iano
What's that? You think you should be the leadoff man? Why? "Because" isn't a reason.
What's that? Your knee is sore? Then why are you in the starting lineup?
What's that? The sun is bright and makes you fall down in the outfield? Here's some cash. Catch the next plane back to Yankee Stadium. Just don't sit in an exit row. In the case of an emergency, I doubt you'd have the stamina to help with the door.

Milton Boo-Radley
There are a lot of things I could say (and did say, when we signed you), but I guess my greatest disappointment is that you didn't find this rage and start channeling it into offensive production in April. That might have been helpful. Here's some cash. Soriano needs someone to massage his knee on the flight to New York.

Ignore-amis Ram-Error-ez
I look back on your 2003 arrival as one of Hendry's shining moments. You've served us well when you haven't been injured, but I have to wonder if the clock is striking midnight and we're going to wake up to find a pumpkin playing third base. At this point, cash might be more valuable to us than your cortisone-filled shoulder. Also, when a ground ball comes your way, it's generally expected that you will attempt to field it. Just a thought.

Mike FontOh-No
The experiment is over. You have not proven your extended usefulness. Do not pass Go. Do not collect whatever paltry amount we're paying you. We need that cash now more than ever. Plus, we'll need to be fitting Mark Grace's number for a flag soon.

Errin' Miles
I don't know why Lou keeps putting you in the game. It must be some sort of cruel joke that serves as a microcosm for the 2009 season. If you're batting average were any lower, we'd have to use four decimal places.

Jus-OK Fukodome
You definitely turned a corner this year, but you missed your exit at international superstar and got off at mediocre instead. Here's some cash. Keep driving.

Geovany So-So
Remember when you were Rookie of the Year? So does Jerome Walton. I knew it was too good to be true that the Cubs had one of the best catchers in recent memory. Insert marijuana joke here.

Carlos Ham-brano
We had some good times, Big Z. But you're getting better at playing softball and the Blame Game than baseball. We need cash and you need to take your circus to a new town. Everybody wins.

Carlos Uh-Ohl
Are you a setup man? Are you a closer? Are you just another empty promise? Make up your mind and we'll make up ours.

Kevin Dreggs
Nice goggles. Too bad they're rose-colored.

Lose Piniella
To paraphrase a Star Wars prequel that is almost as wretched as the season you just sleepwalked through, "You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to bring a title to Wrigleyville, not postseason meltdowns and managerial mistakes!" I don't know what you plan to do at the end of this season, but I think it should involve a picnic lunch and a fishing pole. You had your chance, old man. And you put in Aaron Miles.

Derrek Lee
I have no issues with you, big boy. But you could have chosen a better day to have a kid.

And...scene. I'm not gonna lie--that felt good. But now it's time to put bitterness aside and move on to fervent hope. I fervently hope the Ricketts family is financially prepared to eat a ton of overpriced salary money in the off-season. I fervently hope they will start fostering young talent in the farm system. I fervently hope they will find a new general manager who can build a team of solid players, not marquee names.

I fervently hope the bitterness will really go away.

After years of saying it ain’t so, Sammy Sosa’s jig is up. While preparing for a Crosstown Classic that was ultimately rained out, Cubs Nation was less than shocked to receive the New York Times report that Sosa is on the list of players who failed 2003’s anonymous test for performance-enhancing drug use.

While no one can even pretend to be surprised by this development, I disagree with those who contend that this is not newsworthy. Until now, Sammy Sosa was the proud gladiator riding the noble steed of Truth and Justice. Despite the fact that the world watched him grow from a lithe and speedy 30-30 Club member to the Incredible Hulk, Sosa insisted his records were clean and his homers were real. Even as the reputations of his PED-popping contemporaries fell around him, Sosa maintained his purity. The man committed perjury at a congressional hearing on the subject and, as recently as a few months ago, Saint Sammy stated that he would “calmly wait” for his induction into the Hall of Fame after his retirement.

“I always played with love and responsibility and I assure you that I will not answer nor listen to rumors,” Sosa told ESPN. “If anything ugly comes up in the future, we will confront it immediately, but with all our strength because I will not allow anybody to tarnish what I did in the field.”

Ugly? Check. Tarnished? Check. Right about now, I’ll bet Sammy is wishing he had put that cork in his mouth instead of his bat. But it’s too late.

In the mid-to-late 1990s, there were only two Cubs worth watching—Sammy Sosa and Mark Grace. I am proud to count myself among the Gracie contingent and I spent most of Sosa’s heyday resenting his worldwide popularity and the fact that this self-serving glory hog was the face of the Chicago Cubs. Did I enjoy it when he saved the day with a mile-high home run? Of course. Like any die-hard Cubs fan, I want the Cubs to win and I will support any (legal) efforts to achieve that end. I wanted to believe the myth like so many Sosa fans seemed to, but between his self-serving style of play, propensity to swing for the fences on pitches that were low and away, and postgame sound bytes proclaiming his own godhood, Sosa managed to earn my infrequent applause, but never my admiration.

While the story of the baseball-loving kid in the Dominican Republic who grew up playing with a milk jug for a mitt is inspiring, the experience certainly didn’t teach Sammy any humility. Aside from the physical changes and the increase in his power numbers, Sosa’s ballooning ego was the real tipoff that he was a steroid abuser. His arrogance and insatiable lust for the spotlight made him a perfect candidate. [Side note: I think it’s time to start investigating agent Scott Boras. How many of his clients have been caught ‘roiding it now?]

It’s wrong to take pleasure in someone else’s misery, but I couldn’t help feeling vindicated when I heard the news today. Sosa will finally get what he deserves and I’m glad some conclusive proof came to light before the Cubs organization started beatifying him alongside true Cubs legends who earned their place in the annals of baseball history with hard work and real muscle. I can’t wait to hear Sosa’s interpretation of these new facts. I’m sure the test was incorrectly administered or his urine sample got mixed up with A-Rod’s.

After the epic 1998 home run chase that saved (and now clearly destroyed) baseball, a hero-worshipping animated movie about Sosa’s life and success was released. I think it’s time for a sequel. And the hero just officially became the villain.

It's the eternal debate that usually crops up during the summer's Crosstown Classic, Windy City Showdown, Red Line Series or whatever they're going to call it this year.

Can a Chicagoan--in good conscience--root, root, root for both the Cubs and the White Sox?

A Chicago Public Radio poll asks that very question today.

Although I'm sure the comments section below will offer a variety of opinions on the subject, I'm inclined to emphatically say NO.

While I've never been a White Sox fan and can't speak to that experience, I know that true Cubs fans are born--by geography, by upbringing or in a moment of salvation when they realize that they have been unapologetically devoting significant amounts of time and energy to a sometimes hopeless cause. There is no straddling of the fence with something like that. Either you're in or you're out. And if you're in, there's no room for any other allegiances in your heart. You root for the Cubs and whoever the Cardinals are playing.

Anything else smacks of an approval-seeking politician. I mean, the rivalry between the two teams runs deep enough to merit its own Wikipedia entry. Pick a side and root passionately, Chicago.

Am I wrong? Crazy? Clueless? To quote the great Harry Caray (who successfully worked both sides of town), "Lemme hear ya!"

Photo by Zesmerelda

The Home Opener isn't until today (weather permitting...), but this young Cubs season has already been filled to the brim with drama, heartache and ecstasy.

If you watched tonight's game, I hope you had a defribillator standing by during the fifth inning. With the Cubs up 6 to 2, starter Ryan Dempster sought to throw the game away with one pitch by loading the bases for the Brew Crew's powerfully rotund Prince Fielder.

Fielder connected and sent a towering fly ball to right centerfield. Fortunately, Cubs outfielder Reed Johnson (a mid-game replacement after Milton Bradley shockingly injured his groin) was ready to perform an Easter miracle. Flying through the air with the greatest of ease, Johnson scaled the wall, stretched his mitt over the top of the wall and snatched the ball from the clutches of the centerfield bullpen to nullify a would-be game-tying grand slam.

See for yourself. I've watched it about 12 times and I don't think I'll ever get sick of it. My favorite part might be Fielder's dejected walk back to the dugout. That's gotta hurt.

I've seen a lot of baseball games and this is definitely near the top of my list of defensive plays. Aside from Johnson's impeccably timed jump, the situation surrounding the play increases the importance of the catch. We won the rubber game of the series, made Brewers fans cry on Easter and created some awesome momentum going into our first homestand. A stellar defensive play means so much more when it has side benefits like that.

This weekend's series is also a testament to the grand rivalry that has developed between the Brewers and the Cubbies. Every game was a playoffesque battle, and I'm happy to report that we're winning the war right now.

Nevertheless, the Cubs have some questions to answer. Most pressing: Does Lou Piniella know how to manage the bullpen? How much more time do we give Kevin Gregg as closer? And is Johnson's catch just one more reason to put Fukudome on the bench?

Leave your thoughts below and happy Opening Day!

So you probably already know that Google is in the process of digitizing Life Magazine's vast photo archive. But maybe you didn't know that the Chicago Cubs have a strong presence in that archive and you can find a lot of cool images of Cubs players back-in-the-day and historical shots of Wrigley Field.

The photos seem to be named by whatever Life Magazine story/feature they were shot for, such as "Chicago Cubs' Opener," which contains dozens of old school crowd and player shots.

These photos beg an important question: Why don't we wear suits and fedoras to Cubs games anymore? Just wait 'til I'm king...

To take full advantage of the archive, you might have to get a little creative in your searches. A search for "Chicago Cubs" obviously yields the most results, but you will get some different results if you try searching for "Cubs" (you might have to sift through some baby animal shots) or search for "Cubs baseball."

The search is obviously not perfect (A search for Cubs legend "Billy Williams" will yield a lot of Lando Calrissian shots), but there are truly some hidden gems to be had in the archive. For example, I know many Cubs fans who have been waiting their whole lives to see an image of Sammy Sosa taking one of his mighty swings at a pinata in a Manhattan restaurant. You're welcome.

It's time to 'fess up: I've been a lousy Cubs fan lately.

As a lifelong Chicagoan who hates winter weather by January 2, there are few things I long for as much as the onset of Spring Training. Pitchers and catchers reporting is the one sure sign that the cruel Chicago Winter is at least 1/3 over.

But this year--at a time when the World Baseball Classic made Spring Training last longer than a regular football season--I found myself thoroughly disengaged.

WHY?

Busy with work? Yeah, I guess so.

Still disappointed by the Cubs' underwhelming cameo in the 2008 playoffs? You bet.

Uninspired by Hendry's offseason moves? Definitely.

All of these factors combined to place me completely out of the loop on normal Spring Training developments such as

• Loose-lipped players' making wildly outlandish predictions about their team's undeniable success this season
•  Media-fueled feuds between players who are competing for the same roster spot
• Falling in love with an outstanding no-name player who had a fantastic spring but disappointingly gets cut from the roster before Opening Day
• Watching Kosuke Fukudome continue to fail.

Now that I think about it, maybe I was better off without Spring Training this year.

But none of that really matters anymore. Monday is Opening Day 2009 and it's time to do what Cubs fans do best: Turn the page and start again.

Put that Mark DeRosa jersey in the garage sale and think of a nickname for Aaron Miles. I'm sure Chicago Tribune copy editors are already drooling over the endless headline pun possibilities..."Winning Attitude Drives Miles"...."Miles Goes the Distance for Cubs"...

Turn on the TV, turn down the volume and turn up Pat and Ron on the radio.

Invest in a new stress ball and prepare yourself for some thrilling late-inning victories and some "How could they possibly blow that?" defeats.

Expect injuries.

Expect excuses.

Expect to make the playoffs anyway.

BELIEVE. It's nearly next year all over again. Go, Cubs, Go.

Remember the 2008 Chicago Cubs? Sure you do. They had a great season...waltzed into the playoffs...choked immediately? Yeah, those guys. Well, I hope you took a picture, because Jim Hendry spent the winter months breaking up the band.

In some cases, this was a good thing. We dumped a drummer who couldn't keep time (Rich Hill) and a much-hyped guitarist who fooled people for a while, but actually only knew three chords (Felix Pie).

At the same time, there were some questionable moves, too. Why would you get rid of Mark DeRosa? The guy can play any instrument you hand him, the fans adored him and he spent last season driving the band's van to every successful gig. But enough with the tired musical analogy. Let's just look at the facts.

HE GONE:

 Jon Lieber

Ronny Cedeno

Felix Pie

Mark DeRosa

Henry Blanco

Jason Marquis

Michael Wuertz

Rich Hill

Kerry Wood 

(among others) 

 WHO WE GOT:

 Paul Bako 

 OK, so we got some other people, too. Most notably, troubled outfielder Milton Bradley. Between this acquisition and the Cubs Spring Training invitation to So Taguchi, we have now affiliated ourselves with two of the best names in baseball. Perhaps not the best players, but definitely among the best names.

But let's get back to Bradley. I will join the chorus on this one and say that it makes little sense to relieve ourselves of clubhouse leaders and classy, old-school gentlemen of baseball like Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa only to replace them with Milton Bradley. The man has the self-image of Sammy Sosa with a fraction of the home runs.

I sleep at night by convincing myself that, although the Cubs are hundred-year losers, they are lovable because they try hard and respect the game. It's hard to convince myself that Bradley fits that criteria and I can't help but think he will drastically throw off the chemistry of a team that just traded away its outspoken leaders. I hope I'm wrong.

Also, where is Jake Peavy? Maybe Paul Bako can be his personal catcher. it worked for Maddux...

I will close this rather disjointed post by addressing my favorite off-season acquisition: Tom Ricketts. When everyone else was high on Mark Cuban, I wanted the Cubs to land in the pocket of a true fan, and that's exactly what Ricketts is. The man loves this team and knows what his blue-and-red-clad brethren are waiting for.

This is the year? I don't feel that way just yet and I'm still leery about everything I mentioned above, but I'm sure my tune will change when Arizona warmth is pouring out of my radio and Pat and Ron lead me once again to believe that 101 years is where the futility buck will stop.

With today's trade for relatively unknown potential closer Kevin Gregg, Jim Hendry announced that the Cubs will not seek to re-sign our veteran free agent closer, Kerry Wood. This is truly the end of an era.

For 10 seasons, Kerry Wood was the human embodiment of the Chicago Cubs--so much promise, yet so much disappointment. He was the only Cubs player who was present for every single one of the past decade's spate of futile playoff appearances and had the type of up-and-down career that every Cubs fan can relate to.

Sure, it was annoying to watch him re-injure himself year after year after year, but hope always sprang eternal--usually in the first week of Spring Training--until he aggravated some tendon or threw out his shoulder and spent the next three months on the bench.

Nevertheless, I have a special place in my heart for Kid K. His strikeout prowess was undeniable and when he was on, you were in for a treat. The guy had four seasons where he coaxed 200+ strikeouts. And let's not forget that little 20-strikeout performance on a rainy day in May of '98. We got Wood! But then he would slip on a banana peel and land on his wrist, throwing fans into fits of scouring the market for free agent pitchers.

The best part about Wood was that his Cubs career ultimately had a fairy tale-ish ending. He beat the tremendous odds and came back last season to get 34 saves as a rather effective closer. Coming from the Mark Grace School of Baseball, it was good to see a player be so commited to his team and vice versa. Wood and the Cubs were running a three-legged race together, and though they fell frequently, they always got back up and nearly reached the finish line this season. 

I would have liked to have seen Wood as a career Cubbie, but I trust that Hendry has a plan. He always does, right?

But now for the real burning question: Where does Jake Peavy fit into this puzzle?

It's been more than 24 hours since the biggest, quickest and most pathetic letdown of my sports fan life, but the anger, pain and confusion are still as fresh as they
were when Alfonso Soriano ended the Cubs' World Series chances with a half-hearted half swing. (Give him some credit, though. I'm pretty sure it was the first pitch of
the NLDS that he actually tried to take.)

Unfortunately for all of us, we now have a painfully long
offseason to nurse our wounds and decide what can be done to make a team that won 97 games more successful in October.

But let's not think about the future just yet. Let's wallow
in self-pity and linger over the questions a bit longer. It's our Cub-given right.

I have only been around for a quarter of the lifetimes of
losing that the Cubs have inflicted on their fan base, but I think it could be reasonably argued that the last 25 years have been particularly painful, given the bait and switch routine the team
has pulled in 1984, 2003, 2007 and now 2008.

This was The Year. More than any other season thus far, I
had completely convinced myself of that fact. To stomp on the competition all season long and then go out in a sleep-walking whimper is both inexplicable and inexcusable. I wanted the Cubs to keep it surreal, but I guess I should have been more specific about the type of surreal that I wanted.

The series we just witnessed is not lovable losing. This
isn't the sort of thing you can blame on an overeager foul ball-seeking fan, a black cat, a goat, a curse or any other random Cubbie Occurrence. This is good old-fashioned choking--a word that has haunted me from the mouths of Cubs haters for decades, but is undeniably applicable right now.

After asking "Are We There Yet?" for 100 years, Cubs fans now have new questions to ponder: How could they do this to us? Where were the energy and the fire that this team has shown on so many occasions this year?
Why couldn't the Cubs get more than two hits in a row? Why didn't Reed Johnson play? Can we trade Fukudome and Soriano for some magic beans?

I've always been a firm believer in the idea of the True Cubs Fan, and this concept becomes even more important at times like these--when the wheels have fallen off the
bandwagon and the sound of thousands of people rushing for the exits is nearly deafening. It's not cool to be a Cubs fan right now, so most of the newbies are abandoning ship. "Hey, those White Sox are still in it! Let's get back on the Red Line and keep going South! Anybody want a free Cubs hat?"

Nevertheless, after the most talented Cubs team of my life
(or my Dad's life) gives the worst playoff performance imaginable, even the True Cubs Fans are probably fingering their Cubs fan ID card right now and
wondering why they put themselves through it every year. I've been wrestling with that demon since the botched double play in Game 2 and I still don't have an answer.

Being a Cubs fan is an addiction to an insidious drug that
offers its users the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The lows always come at the end of the season though, so your Cubs withdrawal is so strong by the time spring training rolls around that you've forgiven Aramis Ramirez for
going 2 for 23 with zero RBIs in the '07 and '08 playoffs. Ryan Dempster gave up a grand slam to James Loney? That won't hurt so much in March. It'll just feel good to have the Cubs back in your life again. I promise.

Rest assured we will be singing "Go Cubs Go" when the sun is shining and 2009 is The Year, but forgiveness is much more difficult to muster right now. That's why--in good times and bad--I've always preferred a different Steve
Goodman ditty as my favorite musical homage to the Cubs.

This one goes out to all the True Cubs Fans who will never
understand why it has to be this way, but will continue to stick it out. Better luck next century. Go Cubs.

Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around?
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground?
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League