At about the two-hour mark, when the hold of Mel Kiper's hair started to once again amaze me, and Chris Berman was forcing me to gouge out my other eye, I wondered why I was watching the NFL Draft. My viewing of this Saturday's draft was even more peculiar because there was very little to anticipate. My Beloved Bears had only a mid-second round pick (which they ended up trading) and everyone knew the first pick in the draft would be Matthew Stafford (I thought I heard the phrase "dead man walking" as he accepted his #1 Detroit Lions jersey from Commissioner Goodell, but maybe that was just me.)

I often wonder why we are so fascinated with the draft. Why is it televised? Why is it now a major production - an event that a major sports network, such as ESPN, devotes hours of coverage? I suppose we can all find the answer to that (cha-ching), but there was a day when the draft was not covered. There was a day when Bill Cosby wasn't included in draft coverage (it happened - no joke). There was a day when hip-hop artists didn't sell their souls by recording lame songs about "today is my dream" or "I'm number one" and then perform them in the middle of Times Square for a pre-recorded musical montage. There was a day when cameras weren't set up in random living rooms across the country, fixated on giant men sitting on ordinary couches with their knees over their ears while grandma giggled in the background because she had "just been seen on the tee-vee". If a foreign being from another planet visited earth on Draft Day, their first question would be "so you watch four hours of TV to see guys put on ugly hats?"

Furthermore, and what is even more astounding, is the people that line up for hours to see this in person. In 2001, I stumbled on the opportunity to attend the NBA Draft. It was cool to be there for about the first four picks or so. However, when I look back, what stands out in my head is Michael Jordan (then the Wizards personnel mastermind who just drafted, um hmm, Kwame Brown) talking to Charles Barkley via satellite. This is something I could have seen in person, on the couch, in my p.j.'s. I found - first hand - no good reason to attend a draft in person.

(Courtesy: The Sports Hernia)

When I see the fan contingency at the NFL Draft, it makes me not want to be within a three-mile radius of that joint. Is there any more annoying moment in the sporting universe than the reaction of New York Jets fans after their draft picks? Mercy. This year, when the Jets traded up to get USC QB Mark Sanchez, a player with a lot of potential at a position that the Jets desperately needed to fill, some Jets fans cheered, while others jeered. The disgusted fans glared into the ESPN cameras roving the aisles at Radio City Music Hall and delivered empathetic thumbs down as if they were hypothesizing about a Maury Povich paternity test. Sorry, Namath was off the board and Favre decided to return for his senior year. Come on. In the second round, when the Jets (again) traded up and selected Iowa RB Shonn Greene, a solid runner and potential replacement for the disgruntled Thomas Jones, Jets fans booed. I'm sure they are all very familiar with Iowa football. I mean, how could the Jets do that? How could they let Curtis Martin slip out of their hands? They should have traded up higher to get Jim Brown. Dopes.

I suppose the draft is popular for the same reason we watch other sporting and non-sporting events. For football fans, the NFL Draft is the start of a new season. It is the culmination of the off-season and a look ahead to rookie camps, mini-camps, training camps, and beyond. We become football hungry and even if it is a few hours of hearing how guys "run in space", it is a little nibble of football. I get this same way about spring training baseball. For our favorite college football players, it is the apex of their amateur career and we thump our chests for those who move on from our favorite school or alma mater.

We also watch the NFL Draft for the same reasons we watch game shows. We enjoy watching people win - and perhaps more pronounced - we enjoy watching people get rich. Ok, so maybe we don't enjoy it - maybe our envy gets the best of us, but we still watch. We watch as hugs are exchanged among family members after the pick is in. We also watch as that one prospect continues to wait and wait and then wait some more (see Brady Quinn). There is drama, fame, cash, style (did you see those suits?), and paparazzi. How many other entertainment productions can simultaneously fit that bill?

While the Bears had a good draft (Cutler was our draft), I know that I will never get those six or so hours back (I lost count). And when the season ends in February 2010, I'll look forward again to the draft and submit my six or so hours just to get that springtime football snack.

In the meantime, let's just hope the Bears are picking 32^nd.

(For you draft-attending Jets fans, that means they will have won the Super Bowl.)

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