So before we get started here, let's just state the obvious.  I have been a complete and utter slacker.  Rather than bestow a wealth of fashion knowledge on my many loyal followers (thanks, mom!), I've been drowning my sorrows away in fabulous outfits and dirty martinis over the impending post on the very bane of my existence: leggings.

Why, WHY Lindsay?  Why do you put me and Anna "Golden Mecca of Bobness" Wintour to shame?  It is officially the trend I cannot escape.  My, oh my, it sure is chilly in the L.A.-90-degrees-in-November-HELLO-GLOBAL-WARMING air, better throw on my leggings to survive this cold front!  And nothing says frigid Chicago weather like assuming a thicker version of tights will replace pants.  Leggings do NOT REPLACE PANTS PEOPLE.  Does no one remember Sue Ellen Mischke?  This is the modern day equivilent of wearing a bra as a top!!

Ahem.  So, in a tribute to painful trends that we sometimes refuse to let go of, I went desperately seeking some fashionistas who could pull it off.  And if there is one place I know in this city where there could be a tiny glint of hope, it's the home of my future walk-up and Mercedes sedan, the Gold Coast.  This one's for you Schnitkey.

Photo Redacted

What hurts me the most here is not what I'm seeing from the front.  Not the blatant wearing of shower shoes on the street (honey, did you come straight from getting a pedi?  No?  I didn't think so.), not the second worst trend of all time that you have thrown in my face - the "summer" scarf that serves NO PURPOSE - nay, what really burns my chaps is that she is subjecting the poor baby behind her to her tookas wrapped in a package of LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!  

See, now you've gotten me all fired up again.

And then girlfriend had to go and do this to me.  When I said leggings are not pants, this is not where I was going.  Dearie you BETTER put on those shades, because it's gonna be a looong walk of shame down Oak Street.

Oh, really?  Because the last time I wore leggings that had lace on them I wore them with coulottes and a t-shirt with a dickie underneath it.  A DICKIE.  That's right, you may have thought I was wearing a turtleneck under that t-shirt, until I defied the laws of physics with - look, no sleeves!  Do you really want to go back there?

And in a final act of trend-death-defiance, we have these.  BROWN leggings.

I can't.

Even my first do's scrumptious Chanel bag distracted me to the point where even I overlooked the glaring, dreaded, black/brown clash happening before my eyes.  And yet in a sea full of pant-replacing, Jennifer's sweater mini is the perfect length to wear her leggings as they should be worn, as tights.  Let's face it, with hair like that I can overlook a mistake here and there.   And she would have looked FIERCE if these boots were in a fall eggplant or jewel tone blue.  Hit up these leggings at every bargain trendster's fave - Forever 21.

Now THIS is how you make layering work.  It's not over the top, and Muriel makes her Express leggings more of an afterthought with perfectly placed accessories that pull it all together.  Her top just barely meets the SATSS crotch-covering requirement, but she looks fantastic and effortless, perfect for a day of Chicago-chic shopping. 

Ciao for now!

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Jamie Plaxco
Jamie Plaxco hails from Houston, Texas. She currently lives in Wicker Park with her husband Kellen and her two dogs, Nelli and Abbey. She graduated from Baylor University with a degree in Journalism and minor in Political Science. Jamie currently works as a Public Relations account executive when she's not honing her fashion skills, and finds most of her fashion inspiration in her mom's wardrobe - and in the pages of Vogue. More