Insight Bowl: Minnesota v. Kansas
December 31, 2008 4:30 pm CST NFL Network
5. The combined weight of the two coaches in the Minnesota-Kansas game is approximately 588 lbs.

Minnesota coach Tim Brewster is a pretty big dude. The former two-time All-Big Ten tight end at Illinois has lost some weight since his playing days, but still probably weighs somewhere between 190-200 lbs. That being said, the combined weight of him and his opposing coach Kansas's Mark Mangino is roughly 588 lbs with 10 percent error.

Seriously, Mangino can easily weigh anywhere between 350-510 lbs. He's a great coach, he has resurrected the football program at Kansas, he won every Coach of the Year award known to man in 2007 and he's absolutely stunning to look at in HD. Even if you don't have any interest in these two teams, watching Mangino rumble up and down the sidelines is well worth the price of admission.

After starting the season 7-1, Minnesota has fallen apart in the last four games, going 0-4 and losing their regular season finale 55-0 to Iowa. I don't know what their strategy will be against Kansas's high-powered offense, but if things start to get ugly for the Golden Gophers, as a last resort I recommend they revert to one of the oldest tricks in the books: Yo Momma jokes. In this instance, instead of Yo Momma, they can go with "Yo Coach." For example...

Yo Coach so fat, the last time he saw 90210 was on the scale.
Or
Yo Coach so fat, he has to iron his pants in the driveway.

Honestly, if that doesn't work. I don't know what will.

Outback Bowl: Iowa v. South Carolina
January 1, 2009 10:00 am CST ESPN
4. Shonn Greene is a BEAST (and the best player in the Big Ten)

There's no better cure for a hangover than waking up and watching a running back that runs like a boulder rolling down a hill. When you see Shonn Greene careening off would-be tacklers and running over everyone in sight, you'll realize your headache can't be as bad as what the South Carolina defense feels.

Greene has been unstoppable this year, running for at least 100 yards in each game and totaling 1729 yards, second in the nation. He's another example of why I think power running backs are the most valuable commodity in football. Running backs like Greene are not only more consistent on a game-to-game basis than faster, more elusive backs; they also strike a fear in the defense that other players can't approximate. Guys like Greene are a defense's worst nightmare.

There's nothing more humiliating for a defensive player than getting run over by a ball carrier. On top of that, it's usually pretty painful too. So when a running back is a threat to do that every time he touches the ball, it subconsciously changes the way the defenders play the game. In an attempt to avoid getting pummeled and becoming a highlight on Sportscenter, defensive players devise alternate tackling techniques, and usually dive at the ball carrier's legs. This decreases the chance of pain and humiliation, but also increases the chance of missing the tackle completely; thus making the power running back even more effective. This vicious cycle affects the whole defense and makes big backs so valuable.

Basically, if the S. Carolina d-line doesn't take care of Greene before he gets to the smaller defenders in the open field, Greene will punish the Gamecocks.

The top 3 to be continued...

Minnesota picture, Shonn Greene picture

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ChiChi Madu
ChiChi was born in New York City and instantly became a fan of the Giants, Knicks and Yankees. More